What a year it has been. Plans change, new things come up, life happens. It has been hard but also so very wonderful. The wonderful in my life is my love, the Dog Walker. She has held my hand in hers and we have been in the hospital and in the wine country. I love every minuet I spend with her. Thank You Dog Walker. She is the strongest women I have ever met. When I was growing up I wanted a girl who was as kid like as I and I found her next door. I don’t know how it all came together but it did and it works. Thank You
I’m in, and I’m feeling pretty good. My lungs hurt, but I’m getting lots of goo out and my breathing is feeling better. I’m working every day on not going into the dark hospital space, and it is easier than going through all of the darkness that can come with 4East. I’m keeping the blinds open, not taking any pain killers, doing all my RT shit, trying to find something good to eat. It feels good. I know that my lungs are pissed, and wanting to be done with this breathing shit, but I’m just starting. Going to Flagstaff in 3ish weeks, and going to try and make a trip to Chicago and Indy to see the dirt Mile and the GP next summer. It will be good. My lungs will work, I will keep traveling and I will keep living.
Saturday I got my first cooking lesson on pork butt with peaches. John is a great cook, I’m working on how to be able to put all the goods together like he can. Maybe in a few years I will have the basics. I’m also back to bringing up blood, feeling wrecked today, but I’m holding out on going back in till after the Smashing Pumpkins show tonight.
I have been bringing up small amounts of blood for the past 3 days. It is has been messing with my head a bit, but this morning I’m not going to not get all worked up about it. Going to go to the farmers market with the dog. I just need to keep bussy so I’m not thinking. The Doc knows about the blood from the first day and I’m going to send him another email telling him that my lungs keep bleeding. Fun stuff.
Had a great BBQ last night with some friends and family, and still have lots of chicken marinating if anybody wants to come over for dinner later, I will cook. I also just downloaded the re-release of the Queens of the Stone Age album R. It has a bunch of B-sids and 9 live tracks. I’m about 1/2 way through the new stuff and I think there version of “Never say Never” is the best. Or maybe it is the live version of ” The Feel Good Hit of the Summer”. I could use one of those right about now with all the blood and such.
And in Moto GP news Ben Spies is 2nd in qualifying this a.m. in Bruno. Very impressive for a American rookie. Rossi is expected to announce after the race on Sunday that he is going to make the move to Ducati next season.
I got out yesterday! Feels good to be home, with Robyn and Bronze. I was just washing the dishes and outkast came on and inspired me to put up something saying that I’m out not on IV’s and happy. Running a low temp, and feeling some akes and pains but very happy to be home.
My head is on strait, I had a few hard weeks over the past few months, but all is well now. My lungs are around 60% that works for me. I just need to keep them there. Inhaled antibiotics and HTS to keep the bugs at bay. I’m so happy to be living the life I have. I’m very to have the friends that I do and love them all.
P.S. Sending good vibes to Robyn’s sister and baby, we love You.
So I’m pretty happy after being in for 6 days so far. Seeing some small improvement, the Dr wants to add another antibotic, which I think is a good thing. Don’t know when I’m getting out, I’m not stressed about it, I’m geting better and that makes me happy. One day at a time, maybe I will be out by my birthday.
Robyn came down yesterday and we watched X-files and just hung out. It was great holding her and feeling her next to me. I still feel like I have to entertain when people come see me but I’m getting better about it. She is the strongest women I have ever met, and I am the luckiest man in the world.
And a Big Thank You to the good nurses of the world. They are the people who keep Your body together and can put a smile on Your face. Thank You again.
I have a Dr apt on Monday, still don’t think I’m getting better. I think My PFT’s are up a little, but I’m still bringing up lots of green stuff. I’m over this shit, I’m over complaining about it. I want to feel good, hell I would settle with fair. I just want some consistently. I want to be able to work, play, and live life. I have been on the couch for far too long. I’m having a hard time coming to peace with what is going on in my lungs, I hate it.
Robyn has been the best, I love her so much. I can only imagine how she can deal with my being grumpy/sad/feeling sorry for myself/sick. She is the most amazing person I have ever met. I sometimes feel guilty that my lungs get in the way, but she sees past them and sees Me. Thank You Robyn.
I’m coughing up small amounts of blood as I type this. This sucks. Time to go ride the Ruckus.
P.S. check out the Moto GP today, Can Spies make it onto the podium?
P.S.S. sorry for another negative post again, don’t stress I’m just venting.